Friday, May 10, 2013

Sarcasm Dies ~ Episode 3

I know my sea bag was in a trash bag. It was in a trash bag sitting on my rack in an empty, clean berthing. Now, it wasn't there. Gone, with my passport, travelers checks, civilian clothes and all of my clean coveralls, underwear and socks. It was a bad moment. Luckily I could brush my teeth, and I had soap. Shaving was out, unless I wanted to use my Leathermen multi-tool (not going to happen). Upon asking about my bag I was told there was a more important issue on the Swedish ship, they were sending a Helicopter to pick me up shortly, and I should* gather my things and get dressed.

[*Should: Indicates a strong dislike, for the rest of my life, for Estonia, and the people of that ship. A long line of profanities is running through my head. I will spare you that.]

 The emergency on the Swedish ship wasn't a huge issue. It took a few minutes to figure out and resolve. My room was awesome. Had to take an emergency escape test. Putting on the cold weather suit like they have on "The Deadliest Catch" and getting to the rafts was fun, if by fun you mean figuring out if the ship goes down you will survive. The food was better and the crew was awesome. Slept in, had a hardy breakfast, and went to talk with the days plans. He had already prepared the schedule for resolving the remaining ships issues, and had arranged a pair of spare coveralls and some assisted washing time for the clothes I had left. He also explained the Estonians thought my bag was trash. 

I bounced around on day three, and when I finished getting the remaining ships on the same page, I returned to make plans to get back home. The Captain explained that I would not be going home today because there was going to be some really rough water that evening, and he didn't want to risk his crews lives or mine just to do a small boat to Helo transfer. And besides, they had beer. That night we had a crew meeting (in Swedish), a moment of silence (in Swedish), a prayer (in Swedish), and then dinner. I talked with some of the crew and asked about how they liked their jobs and other social questions. It was a polite dinner.

The next day, during breakfast, the Comms Officer and I discussed the fact that NATO had declared me dead. I was part of the crew list from the night before and the small boat that was supposed to have been carrying me had overturned, all hands lost. A little bit flabbergasted, he explained they would be in site of the coast line of Poland tomorrow, and I could send an email to my ship to let them know I was still alive.

 [Since this happened, I have been looking for the names of the sailors lost at sea. I have not found them yet, and though I am glad I was not one of them, those lost souls are still some ones child, parent or sibling. They need their moment here as well. Fair seas and following winds]

 I spent day four helping inventory comms gear in the huge containers they kept in the areas that would have normally been parking for cars riding the ferry. Day five, we connected a large suction cup to the window, then to a cell phone then to a laptop, connected to an email server and..... damn you Outlook. I could not remember what any of the email address' were on the ship. I knew an HF frequency to get in contact with them but the Swedish vessel did not have enough antennas to support that. So, I guessed and sent an email to 25 recipients that I hoped would receive it. Later that day we checked the email for any responses, and we had received one email. They were glad to hear I was alive and they would have a helicopter waiting for me at 7:30, shortly after we were supposed to pull in. Finally, I had a ride home.

One more segment of this story and it's all over. 

However, it is Friday which means its Evil Greeting card day!!!!!!
Today's card is for motivation... Well, that is what I call it. 


If at first you don't succeed....


You had one job...ONE JOB....just WOW

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